a place for the end

all dog goes to heaven

2007-12-10T00:40:00.000+08:00

This post is a tribute for Sparky, a shih tzu/toy poodle mixed breed. My heart broke, when i found out that he had drowned in the river outside my dad's office a few weeks back. Here is Sparky's story: A few months back in march this year, my dad told me that some of his workers found an abandoned dog with long mangled fur stained with oil slicks and in the poorest of condition. It was very skinny and had some skin problem. It was also around this time that i started working for my dad and i got to see the dog on my first day. Initially, Sparky was very shy and he gave everyone who approached him a 'suspicious' look. He was very cautious for the first few days at his new found home and all i could do at that time was to coax him with some food or try to pet him and let him be used to my smell. The workers made him a home with the materials they used to make wooden crate with.

Finally, after a few days of coaxing, Sparky sparked into life, which is how he got his name. He was able to eat much better and he started responding well to everyone at the office. Some of the workers gave him a DIY hair cut. Before long, he was able to hold his own in the pack of other dogs. He made a new friend in Ah boy, another of the office dog. It was really nice to go to work every morning and to be greeted by Sparky. I am not sure of his age but he is really a bolt of energy. Everyday when i knocked off and rest on a chair, Sparky would just jump on my lap and enjoyed the fan with me. And when it was time to leave, Sparky would know i am going to place him back in his crate and he will start whining.

Here the heart wrenching part, from what i have heard of Sparky's last few moment: He was brought out to the large drain just outside the office by some of the workers while they fished. Subsequently, he jumped into the drain when some dogs tried to 'attack' him. Some of the workers jumped down to save him but they could not find him in the murky water. His body was found afloat the next day but i wasn't sure what they did with his body.

What saddens me the most is how Sparky could not live his time out in his new home. The poor abandoned dog who finally found people to love and a new home, i have only wish life be kinder to him. Sparky left a mark in my life even for that short lived time we had. I hope he is in a dog's heaven now.

Sparky, your boundless supply of energy will be missed.

hospital fun

2007-11-29T00:12:00.000+08:00

Post op + 12 days
Today is the most mundane day of my life. A test of character for me, patience, which i certaintly lack in abundance. i almost spent my whole day in the hospital doing nothing but wait.. geez something gotta be done about the efficiency of CGH. Its so bad that i think dying patient has to wait to die. I went for my physiotherapy in the morning as usual but was told to see my sport doctor because of the complication that had arise in my stitches. The stitches on my right knee was pus-sing. So i was told to come back at 2pm which i did obediently. Unfortunately for me, i waited for almost an hr before i could see the doctor because i was a walk-in patient. what ticks me off was been told to come in at 2pm but i having to wait so long for my turn, and seeing patient who come in so much later after me but still see the doctor before me. wooo.. that trips me off. After the consultation with my doctor, i had to go remove my stitches (2 days in advance) due to the pussing. And because of the infection on the right knee, removing the stitches was so much more PAINFUL. Finally, to end my day in the hospital, i have to go collect my medicine which i have to wait some more. So i was at CGH from 10.30am - 1pm and then 2pm - 4.15pm. sad but true..

5 more days to Final exams.. -gasp-

heres one for now

2007-11-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

i apologise if this picture is too graphic for you but this has been given a rating of PG13. Heres the picture of my knees post-op. notice the cleanly shaved right knee (silky smooth, dont be hating), and its swollen to almost double the size of my other knee. On the other knee, the dressing is actually for the incision made when the doctor extract some of my right medial hamstring ligament to reconstruct my left knee ACL. i cant do nuts for now, still grounded at home. major bummer!

back?

2007-11-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

right now, im on mc for 6 weeks after my knees operation.

2 weeks to exams.
3 weeks to holidays.
9 weeks to new sch semester.
12 weeks to get back to running.
24 weeks to get back to the field.

all i can do now, is to wait.

a new change for a new beginning...

maybe just maybe..

Between You and Me

2006-12-26T12:48:00.000+08:00

Won't you come over?
You know that you want to.
How does it feel to know
I still want you?

Why do we always seem,
To want what we can't have?
Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart,
And it says still run back for more.

I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart,
To know I can't hold you.

It's just hard to think
I'll never get the chance
To say your mine.
But every time you hear this song
You'll know you've made a mark
On my heart and my mind.

2006-11-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

subject to change

3

2006-09-24T02:52:00.000+08:00

they say that in your lifetime, u will meet 3. one who love u the most, one you love the most, one who break ur heart but i have onli met one. the one i love the most is the one who break my heart.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

emotions

2006-09-15T01:05:00.000+08:00

reminiscing makes u bitter

semi charmed kind of life

2006-08-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

"i want something else, to get me through this,
semi-charmed kind of life,
i want something else,
im not listening when you say, good-bye" ~ semi-charmed kind of life || third eye blind

im in unchartered ground for the first time, it being like forever since i hve blog. seriously i just cant be bothered to but today today jus today.

i dunno, im realli sick of this shit. the title says it all.

so GG, everybody take care IRL.

ima go shoot myself in the head. PEACE OUT!

22nd

2006-05-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

Happy 22nd Birthday u piece of shit

somedays..other days

2006-04-11T19:22:00.000+08:00

somedays its,

"A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it’s only you and me"

other days its,

"It’s amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It’s unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I’m not saying there wasn’t nothing wrong
I just didn’t think you’d ever get tired of me
I’m now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn’t wanna let it get away from me

But if that’s how it’s gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we’ll see who’s sorry now
If that’s how it’s gonna stand, when
You know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
The one you’re leaving out

It’s aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out
How your good intentions turn to doubt
The way you needed time to sort it out

I’m not saying there wasn’t nothing wrong
I just didn’t think you’d ever get tired of me
I’m now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn’t wanna let it get away from me

But if that’s how it’s gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we’ll see who’s sorry now
If that’s how it’s gonna stand, when
You know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
The one you’re leaving out

The one you’re leaving now
The one you’re leaving out

I’m not saying there wasn’t nothing wrong
I just didn’t think you’d ever get tired of me

But if that’s how it’s gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we’ll see who’s sorry now
If that’s how it’s gonna stand, when
You know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
The one you’re leaving out

Tell me is that how it’s going to end
When you know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
And the one you’re leaving out

The one you’re leaving now
The one you’re leaving out"

Yes i still miss you...

my loss

2006-04-04T02:13:00.000+08:00

i cant sleep, i still feel the loss..
i was confused the last few days, wondering what was indeed bothering me inside..
the one that got away or the one true friend i had lost..
so its seems that im missing fhame..

its been a year...
i still feel the pain of the loss..
brudder brudder whereever u are now, u noe we all miss u..
i ponder the day i will meet u once again..
this time round, u can show me, azfar and mazlan ard ur new home..
heres to u my friend, fhame
do know that i love u like a brother..
i still do...
u been forever remembered by me..

Tauren Shaman and Me

2006-04-03T09:30:00.000+08:00

my life this week:

live twice

2006-04-02T10:28:00.000+08:00

well well a year passed like a flash, if u sit down and reminisce the past year. yes today marks the one year anniversary of fhame's passing. the friendship and companionship we had shared, it will never be forgotten, til this day i still miss the big man alot. ask mazlan and azfar, im sure all of us still misses him. we love him like a bro.

my life was never the same without him, what happenend last year had the biggest impact in my life. my heart still goes to his family and everyone who we are somehow connected thru the big man. there are those days when i wish hes still ard for a chillout session at simpang. all the simple yet sweet memories, everytime me and azfar hang out at simpang, i still think of him.

i noe im guilty of this but lets nt take anyone in our life for granted. you will only realise how much it hurts when its gone.

to be continued...

a little something lately

2006-03-28T15:55:00.000+08:00

lately feels like so much happening but too many things, too little time. or rather i choose to devote my time in WOW. for those unware, what wow stands for? it is World Of Warcraft.

yes yes..my life now revolve around it. cant help it, when u pay to play, u play like u been paid. :)

so alil update here and there, those tat come up my mind. sent a few friends off for their overseas further studies last month. will post the pictures here once i got them.

well, last weekend i went over to batam to cable-ski with dale, bin, yan, black & nyssa. woot! it was an amazing experience and i came back with lotsa of souvenirs. yep, bruises and amazing body aches are some of those. it was defintely fun but nt sure if its worth all the pain. lol.. post the pictures once i got them.

also the weekend before last, i went to the Singapore Idol Audition with Azfar. although he make it thru the first round, sadly he didnt cut it for the second round. i tell u its a whole lot of bull if u ask me. azfar cldnt get it becoz his image was bland!!

WTF!! he was told to wear the same thing from the frist round. also if people like sly and taufiq can be our idol, i really dont understand whats wrong with azfar's image. firstly, he got a FREAKING nice voice, all the judges like his singing but told him, its the IMAGE!! like holy what-the-fuck-is-wrong!!

well dude, i still feel gutted for you. image can be taken care of later. those noobs!! anyway azfar, do not lets this bring u down, u just deserve better. the time will come, when singapore will get to see your talent. smile and live another day.

shibby..........

here a lil story by yours dearly

A man got hit by an oncoming truck. A passerby walks over and ask him, "Man are you blind or something". The man reply with his last breath "no, i merely chose to turn a blind eye on it" The passerby looks on with a puzzled face as he watch the man live his last minute.

guess we all tend to do it all the time. it just a human trait. we kinda born with it and live with it. well just make sure u dont get hit by a truck literally.

shibby again...........

still

2006-03-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

The night without the mood. Thats how its been since u left me with our memories. A silent cold departure. I was left with a wound too deep to heal.

Everytime is how much i think about u.
Everyday is how much i still love u.
Forever is how this is gona feel.

All the doubts in my head. If i could do anything to bring it back. It kills me to see u happy in another man's arm.

I did cherish us.
I did love us.

Now im just a fool who still believe.
Just to let u know, my heart still beats for u.

a little something

2006-03-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

well a fren of mine sent me this and i think its really nice, so im gona share it with everyone.

"Believe in what makes you feel good. Believe in what makes you happy. Believe in your dreams, you've always wanted to come true and give them every chance to. Life holds on promises as to what will come your way. You must search for your own ideals and work toward reaching them. Life makes no guarantees as to what you'll have. It just give you time to make choices and to take chances and undiscover whatever secrets that might come your way"

shibby :)

all time love

2006-02-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

All Time Love - Will Young
"'Till an all time love..'Cos nothing else is good enough..I want an all time love to find me"

me,
i have my flaws and that justs me.
a hothead when i lost myself.
you,
you are an imperfect prinzess of perfection.
that just you.

i had only wanted to put all our imperfection together and be perfect together.
would you call me a perfectionist?
forming a perfect heart with pebbles of inconsistences.
is there a perfect love?

now i'm just a imperfect being without you.
im waiting for you to complete my imperfection once again.

you were meant for me

2006-02-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

You Were Meant For Me - Jewel
"I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead..I, I try and tell myself it'll be all right..I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause..Dreams last so long, even after you're gone..I know, that you love me and soon you will see..You were meant for me and I was meant for you"

i went by some places today. places that had trigger memories of u. why do u still have an effect on me? i cant really tell, guess somehow somewhere u still resides in me. Bendemeer sec, Adam Coffeeshop, Yassin restaurant, Sim Lim Tower, the bazaar you bought your oh so flowery pants. good memories, happy memories but it just leaves an ache in your heart.

geez......

try our love again

2006-02-15T18:23:00.000+08:00

Try Our Love Again - Brian Mcknight
" So thats why, you're the woman i should be with..Thats why, miss u more than a little bit..Thats why, think i have had enough of this..Why dont we try our love again?"

Now that i had u in my life before, i really dun wish to carry on without u.
i dont noe why suddenly it feels like this but it hurts me more den ever.
u dont noe how much this is killing me, how much this hurts.
someone far far away has your heart.
someone from a long long time ago still in your heart.
me? i dont noe what do i have of u.
all i have got now is a heart shattered in a million pieces.
a heart full of regrets.
why cant i just have what i need?

Wherever You Will Go

2006-02-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
"If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all..Then I hope there's someone out there..Who can bring me back to you"

its like so depressing, nothing u do seems to have any effect. you try so hard and get so far but in the end it doesnt really matter!!

i just feels so empty, i dont know why. its as if Valentine's Day amplify the loneliness. its so fucking depressing to be single sometimes. yes i love whatever freedom there is but dont u just wish someone to hold close to.

hai....yet another day spent in my own company.

anyway below is a nice peom "I Carry Your Heart" by e.e. cummings. enjoy :)

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

standing still

2006-02-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

Standing Still - Jewel
"Do you want me, like I want you?..Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?..Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?..Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?..Was that you passing me by?"

yesterday would have been our 8th months together. Dont u just wonder sometimes what we would have been? where we could be now? i guess its just natural to think of the "what if" and "what would". i would never trade what we have for anything in the world but i would give everything just to be holding you once more.

how do you answer an equation with so many variables? the only constant i know is my love for you. so many question in the head u need an answer to!

time will tell the story, lets continue our story together....you and me

lost in space

2006-02-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

Lost In Space - Lighthouse Family
"You are the one thing that keeps me smiling..That's why I'm always wishing hard for you"

somehow i still gets butterflies in my stomach waiting for your msg. i wish u would ask me out sometimes, i wish we could see each other everyday like we used to. i wana spend everyday of my time with you.

thank you for letting me be there that nite, im glad that u cheer up. i really hate to see u sad. i just wish the time will freeze when we together. i jus wanna stroke your hair and caress your face as u sleep in my arms.

i had wish u would walk me to the door that morning and give me a goodbye kiss. i really hope we can go back to how we used to be. can i show u my love again. i need u everyday of my life.

i will learn my place soon.

over her?

2006-02-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

Over Her - Backstreet Boys
"You know I been trying to figure out..Just what's going on..Am I over her?..I been doing a lot of thinking lately..Am I over her?..And I'm really missing you"

how do u tell the person how much u loved her? love is only but a word, how do u let her feel the depth of your heart, see how much it really meant to u.

i loved u with everything i've got and i dunno how best to show it, i wish theres a word, a chart i can draw but i thought my actions shows. i dunno.. mayb it didnt but now this lil piece, its all we had left.

i dont wanna throw it into the sea. i'll die to make it grow again, even find back the other broken pieces, whatever it takes. even if it cant be glued back, i'll still try.. as imperfect it will be its still perfect in my eyes.

all, all i ever wish for is u n thats what i wish for the night my star fell from the sky.
i jus dont want to wake up this way in my dream and i really hope it dont change anything.
can we jus preserve what's left of us, lets not let anything come between us.

its all i got left, i already lose u and i dont wanna lose everything now.
just when things getting better for us, let's not abandon this ship.
lets treasure what we've got left, thats all im asking, jiaying.

the night the lights went out

2006-02-03T11:13:00.000+08:00

The Night The Lights Went Out - The Ataris
"If I could have one wish tonight..I'd wish upon a satellite..To bring me back to you..We spend our whole lives searching for..All the things we think we want..And never really knowing what we have"

i had a wonderful night yesterday, something which i hadnt experience for awhile now. i was happy, i was carefree and i feels so good somehow. to have u by my side again, i wish you didnt have to sleep, feels like there just so many things i wanna said. if i could, i stay up all night just to see ur sleeping face, caress ur hair, gaze at ur face and whisper into ur ears. the face of an angel just takes all the pain and worries away. it heals my soul.

my nights has been unusually long without you and to have u by my side for one night, i thank the heaven, it bring me peace just to be able to share the space with you. i wonder if the chance would come again. i guess i can only pray.

lying on the other side i just couldnt help but the feelings flow right back, i think, i reminisce , all the time we shared and the memories we create. it brings pain and joy to my heart, somehow to know your there but i cld never have u now. shld i fight the feeling or fight for myself, my happiness. i truly dun have the answer. for once, you left me breathless again, like u always do.

i miss ya.

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

2006-02-01T02:53:00.000+08:00

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a person who thinks before acting, intelligent and thorough.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

MOS 30 Jan 06

2006-01-31T04:26:00.000+08:00

Till I Get Over You - Brian Mcknight
"Outside I'm smiling..Inside I'm crying..I just keep denying..Till I get over you"

MOS was a BLAST!! shibby!! i went there with the whole gang of rowdees and then met up with my man azfar and mazlan. we let our hair loose the whole nite, partying like there was no tml for us. yeah! danced til my legs were hurting lol. think we were on the podium for hrs and we sweep all the rooms MOS has to offer. my $15 green were fully utilised!! and they said we are goin again this fri!! god help us all!! heres some pictures from last nite.

No. 10 & No. 5, pre-show

felki, No. 7 & No. 10

Chilling with No. 9 & No. 5

Me with the twin brothers No. 8 & No. 18

Here my ppl!! Johnny & Jesse

Meet John, Johnny & Jesse

Teeshoo Poorata

2006-01-30T11:26:00.000+08:00

Where Do We Go From Here - Brian Mcknight
"Love have run out of time, You said you'd always be mine, It's hard to believe that somehow we've grown apart, Why the way that things have been, It just make no sense, Was so unprepared for the way I feel inside"

The following pictures was taken whn i was out with Bin & PJ for supper. PJ ordered a egg prata but after tat she added a tissue prata of her own(literally). I hope everyone enjoyed their tissue prata like she did. bon Appetite!

One Last Cry

2006-01-29T19:18:00.000+08:00

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

Cry.....

I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I goota put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...

thank you for the venom

2006-01-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

Its the hardest thing, letting go of someone u loved.
i did my wrongs and pay my dues.
i hope i have learned and u would forgive me.
it was a heavy price, i paid and if its like the old saying goes:
i hope it will be sweeter the second time around, if theres any chance.

here another story learned, i apologise for my flaws and i wish u happy and me too.
its like learning to walk again, picking yourself up when u fall.
i thank you for all the sweet memories and all that we shared.
its time i go and i end this with my last drop of tears for u.
sweet happiness and bitter sorrows.
thanks for being the one for me.

i'm giving up on love

2006-01-18T19:17:00.000+08:00

These last few weeks
I've been confused
sometimes I wonder if
I'm better off alone.

You fall in love
then break your heart.
you fall in love again
it's never ending.

I guess I'm giving up on love
'cause it really kind of sucks

So here I am
grown up at 22
will someone tell me
what it takes to be happy?

maybe I'll meet that special
girl along the way
then she'll break my heart
and leave me crying.

I guess I'm giving up on love
'cause it's not worth it
I guess I'm giving up on love
'cause it really kind of...

giving up

2006-01-18T19:09:00.000+08:00

I used to make the light shine for you,
The sun has left my sky.
Velvet walls surround my sorrows,
I've sacrificed my pride.

I've laid myself to sleep tonight
I know you've played out everything in your mind.

And now you throw it all away,
A shattered memory that you would stay.
Through thick and thin with me,
You're giving up on me.

I know! (I know!)
You'll never change!
I won't be good enough for you.
I know! (I know!)
You'll make it through,
I'll never be around to see.

You're giving up on me.

你怎么舍得我难过

2006-01-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

im feeling so emo now, and this song is exactly how i feel.

对你的思念
是一天又一天
孤单的我
还是没有改变
美丽的梦
何时
才能出现
亲爱的你
好想再见你一面
秋天的风
一阵阵的吹过
想起了去年的这个时候
你的心
到底在想些什么
为什么留下
这个结局让我承受
最爱你的人是我
你怎么舍得我难过
在我最需要你的时候
没有说一句话就走
最爱你的人是我
你怎么舍得我难过
对你付出了这么多
你却没有感动过

yesterday..today..tomorrow

2006-01-14T10:17:00.000+08:00

yesterday my counseller ask me some questions that hit me real hard. some goood deep questions, i personally havnt thought abt before. he asked me what are the core, most important r/s in ur life now? and what is it to be a good son/brother/friend/lover? i sat there for 5 minutes, my mind was blank. i didnt think i have an ans. i guess i have to dig in real deep to find it within me. seems to me, i have been takin alot of things in my life for granted. he said if i can find the ans, then everythin in my life would be clearer. hmmzz guess its time for some reflections huh.

nowadays it just feel so cold, rain or shine, its still feel tat way. well, its just me, someday im fine and someday im just not. its a vicious cycle that i have been goin thru the past 1 month plus. im cold now, like the river that froze during the winter and guess its gona be a long winter for me. mayb i've been hurt more than i hurt anyone, well it surely feels that way.

the way it feels now, im like a piece of charcoal, the pain is like the slow burning flame and when the breeze in the cold windy night passes by, the pain intensify like the flame. ouch its jus hurts so much sometimes. douse me with water will ya? gently..

i wish i can make u share the hurt... burn me alive now or drown me

cigarette

2006-01-12T13:07:00.000+08:00

Watching the days burning out like a cigarette,
Just a few drags to go.
You built me up
And you broke me down,
Somehow.

Everything just seemed so clear to me
Nothing left to know.
I'll love you right and I'll love you pure,
Right now.

How can you say,
That it's too late
To save us now

And I would wait for you, ooh
If you would wait for me, yeah.
I will wait for you, ooh
if you will wait for me, yeah.

Intoxicated the edge is serrated,
So easily torn from the core.
I blushed the first time,
But you blushed the last time
My eyes hit your mind
Regenerated these feelings of hatred,
I long for your love evermore
You built me up and you broke me down
This time.

And I would wait for you, ooh
If you would wait for me, yeah.
I will wait for you, ooh
if you will wait for me, yeah.

How can you say,
That its too late
To save us now?
(How can you say)

picture updates

2006-01-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

Pictures of C31D, New Years Gathering '06"
lynn, bidin, ash, teo, monica, chee, shish, fauzi

notice the apparition in both of the pictures above!! phantom sighted in JB.

轨迹

2006-01-10T13:51:00.000+08:00

怎么隐藏我的悲伤失去你的地方
你的发香散的匆忙我已经跟不上

闭上眼睛还能看见你离去的痕迹
在月光下一直找寻那想念的身影

如果说分手是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白

我会发着呆然后忘记你接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天会有人代替让我不再想念你
我会发着呆然后微微笑接着紧紧闭上眼
又想那一年你温柔的脸在我忘记之前

心里的眼泪模糊了视线你会看不见

(its hard) letting you go

2006-01-10T01:43:00.000+08:00

Well - me, these days
I just miss you - it's the nights that I go insane
Unless you're coming back for me
That's one thing I know that won't change
It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

always

2006-01-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

thoughts & feelings

2006-01-08T15:16:00.000+08:00

this was in my head, a few days back. so i thought i get it down.

it still leaves a sting when i think abt it
yes, like u had said, it was sudden
i wasnt expecting it to end, not that way at least
u move on real fast, so far away now
i feel like a stranger to u now

u apologise for the hurt u caused me
for someone who dont believe in apologies
how much it meant for u to say "sorry"
but a million apologies cant take this pain away

today this pop up in my head, im lost. pls dont fuck with my head.

the msg u sent me last nite
im supposed to be the one who send it to u weeks ago
all those time i was non-existence to u, only i know
if i had forgotten everything abt us, i wouldnt be goin thru this pain
how much u know of my feelings? none
the words here can only express my feelings to an extent
feel my heart, take it
i dont know if u expect something from me
i dont know what u would want from me
are u expecting something?

i want you

2006-01-08T03:21:00.000+08:00

I never wanted the stars
I never shot for the moon
I like them right where they are
All I wanted was you
So baby just turn away
Because I can't face the truth
All I'm trying to say
Is all I wanted was you

out of reach

2006-01-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

Every day just seems so long
Every minute that I'm here without you
Will tomorrow ever come
Will I ever get a chance to feel you
I need you so much
You're out of reach
You're out of reach but you're so close
I hear you cough I feel you fall
But you're out of reach

Another room I can't hide
Another night without you here beside me
Cause I don't want to fake it
I'm just trying to make it yeah
I need you so much
You're out of reach
You're out of reach but you're so close
You're out of reach
You're out of reach but you're so close
You're out of reach
You're out of reach but you're so close

unwell

2006-01-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

playlist

2006-01-04T20:31:00.000+08:00

A picture tells a story and this playlist, it tells u my feeling.

its been a month now, im here without u.
i just want u to know, i feel so incomplete.
since u been gone, i hate myself for losing u.
i feel the purest of pain every night but love aint here anymore.
the ghost of u and me haunt me every night.
i can only be 安静 and tonight i wanna cry.
somebody give me a cup of 忘情水.
i know its 我的错, thats why u go away.
i wish u come back for good but it will be against all odds.
i wish we could start back at one but im learning to let go slowly.
whereever u will go, i be walking after u in my heart.
goodbye my lover, i hope i will be alright tonight.
i just dont wanna be lonely no more.

this aint a love song

2006-01-04T16:43:00.000+08:00

I should have seen it coming when roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing tall
But only fools are "know-it-alls" and I played that fool for you

I cried and I cried
There were nights that died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby

If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change

It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I've cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy

If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't no love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

i still believe

2006-01-01T14:31:00.000+08:00

When the world had nowhere to run
Or how to hide
I've been watching the world as it passes by
Trying to climb but I just can't find my feet
But I still believe
Doesn't matter what life you lead
Or the love you need
Lost in the world as it passes by
Trying to smile but you just can't hide your tears
Do you still believe

I still believe
That we can live together in a land of broken dreams
I still believe
We can put us together and pray for all our hopes and dreams

Cause I only wanna let you know how I feel
Watching the love as it passes by
Trying to smile but I just can't hide my tears
But I still believe

Floating on your own star
They always seems to make you hot
I put it back together once again
Once again
Once again

I still believe
That we can live together in a land of broken dreams
I still believe
We can put us together and pray for all our hopes and dreams
I still believe
That we can live together in a land of broken dreams
I still believe
We can put us together and pray for all our hopes and dreams
Floating on your own star

2005-12-31T18:08:00.000+08:00

早已冷却的吻藏在心中加温
爱情充满残忍我却太认真
爱一层层被撕裂
我一层层被摧毁被爱摧毁
我来不及找到出口
我一层层被摧毁
狠不下心向黑夜说再见
说再见

cold

2005-12-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

the nights are cold without you around
my hands are cold without yours in mine
you left me cold when you walk out on me
the only one that can warm my heart is you

Against All Odds

2005-12-29T19:39:00.000+08:00

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace,
When I'm standing taking every breath,
With you, ooohhh,
You're the only one who really knew me,
At all.

How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave,
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
If you're coming back to me it's against all odds,
And that's what I've got to face.

I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry,
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
So there's just an empty space,
But to wait for you is all I can do,
When that's what I've got to face.

Take a good look at me now,
Cause I'll be standing here,
And you coming back to me is against all odds,
And that's the chance I've got to take.

Got to take
Got to take

Ooh
Take a look at me now

Take a look at me now.

bag full of regrets

2005-12-28T11:15:00.000+08:00

If i had know that was the last night we would be together
i would ask to hold u tight one last time
keep u in my arms til dawn, the time we gonna part
i wouldnt let go until the last moment
If only i could see it coming..IF ONLY..

i was blinded all this while, to think that u r happy
now all i have left is regrets, a bag full of regrets
regret that things had turn out this way
regret for all the things i ever done to hurt you
regret not cherishing every moment of u and me
a heart full of regrets

i yearn so much just to hold u again
i pray, i hope, i wish, i beg
nobody's listening, u turn a deaf ear and blind eye on me
the tears welled up in my heart
im drowning in my self pity
all i can do now, is try to pick myself up
pieces by pieces, the pieces of u and me im still holding on to
im praying for another miracle, im hoping for another chance
u know, i miss u so much but i couldnt let u know
now i tell u
I MISS YOU PRINZESS

dreams?

2005-12-28T11:10:00.000+08:00

i wonder if our pictures still on the wall
if you still remember me
i dream of this every night
i find myself sitting in this familiar place
walking ard like i had live there all my life
everything feel so real to me
i didnt felt like i was in a dream
i was happy, happy in my dream
i was happy to be there
the familiar faces i see
uncle, auntie, kor, jie, husky & coco
dont try to wake me up

purest of pain

2005-12-27T17:37:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
gina, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
gina, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
gina, give me back...

Goodbye My Lover, gina

2005-12-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

before...then...now...

2005-12-23T01:34:00.000+08:00

Before i met u, climbing and soccer was the only things that kept me occupied. its the only things i know i can do. then i met u and u show me a new world, a world where i was happy. i thought i had found someone to share my dreams and life with. i adjust my life to fit yours, everything was perfect. it was like a fairy tale, i never feel so contented in my life.

although we are 2 different character, somehow the pieces came together for us. u let me see the world in a different light from a different point of view. i was truly happy and u gave that to me, i swear i wasnt gonna let it go. we have come thru up and down together and i thought we would, like everytime.

call me naive but now i have lose u. we living our own life now, something i couldnt imagine myself doing. now i just living in my nightmare. wake me up will ya. i miss you so so so so much.

Mungkin Nanti

2005-12-22T13:49:00.000+08:00

Sahajaku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri

not so merry...

2005-12-22T13:38:00.000+08:00

There's no one to call or msg anymore.
Really nothing worth looking forward to at the end of the day.
No hand to hold close to your heart and no one to hold on to at nite.
No one to share the dreams and life with.

Like a flower without the sun withering away.
I can only wish to have you back.
I miss you so much, you couldnt imagine.

I came close a few time, almost losing you.
Now i did.
Felt like a part of me is missing.
Its killing me.

I only wish to have you back.
Yeah, thats my wish this xmas and new year.
Santa do take note.

again

2005-12-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

Can you help me ease the pain
Can I hold you once again

You know that they often say that love is blind
My heart can't see
The reason why you left that love behind is hurting me
Is there a chance that we can be again

Hold my head up wipe the tears
I'm not crying for you no more

So don't go away Again

Incomplete

2005-12-18T18:56:00.000+08:00

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

misery

2005-12-17T13:04:00.000+08:00

this is so painful, i dont know how long i can endure this anymore. the medication dont seems to be working anymore. this pain is killing me. we used to do everything as one, we were inseparable and now i feel like i lost a piece of myself. u took it away the day u walk out of my life.

gone were the days we spend our weekends together. we see each other everyday of the week, not one day passed without u by my side and now i have to carry on living without u. the feeling of the empty space beside me whn i sleep and learning to do things on my own again. this is killing me. yes, u may said i was living fine b4 i have u but all this have now changed, cant u see!! not everythin is as naive as what u believe.

how much the past 6 mths means to me, no one will ever understand. this ache & emptiness in my heart, im not sure when this gona heal but u left a scar behind, to remind me of u. how can i ever forget the most happiest time of my life, i wish i could then mayb i wont feel the pain anymore. 啊给我一杯忘情水

my days without u hasnt been as easy u tink it is, mayb it makes u feel better thinkin tat it is. i need a break from the world. i want a break from this world. i jus feel like stayin in this bottomless pit until i heal myself. i wanna be strong but i can only wish im. cant carry on this anymore, jus wish i can hold u one last time, stroke ur hair, gaze into ur eyes and tell u one last time how much i love u.

end my misery...............please....

ogre & prinzess (8 Jun 05 - 8 Dec 05)

2005-12-15T10:57:00.000+08:00

Like the fairy tale it has been the past 6 months, i was hoping this wld end in a happily ever after ending but call me naive. yes, everything is over now and as much as i hope to, theres nothing i can do anymre to salvage this fairy tale. mayb if we could, we can erase all the wrong doings but nothing is perfect and this time, we cant have it like how we always come thru the problems. guess u had enough.

tears still flow knowing that what once was so beautiful & sweet is over now. guess i'll be fine, as time eat away the pain from within. im gona miss the time waking up beside u, brushing our teeth together, having someone to hold at night. i will miss ur company, everything we shared and the love u gave me. its hard letting go...but guess i will still be fine, but not so soon i guess.

well thank you prinzess for all the wonderful memories u written in my life. i will nv forget all of these. hope u r living fine and all(i know you are) but guess i will still be in miserable ville in awhile before i head on to everything be fine street. jus wan u to know prinzess, somehow this ogre is still missing & loving u. i will grab the chance to write another fairy tale with u, next time i will hold on to u forever.

goodbye and goodnight for good.

安静

2005-12-14T20:00:00.000+08:00

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

忘情水

2005-12-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

如果你不曾心碎
你不会懂得我伤悲
当我眼中有泪别问我是为谁
就让我忘了这一切
啊给我一杯忘情水
换我一夜不流泪
所有真心真意任它雨打风吹
付出的爱收不回

anthem of our dying day

2005-12-13T17:07:00.000+08:00

The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before

withered flower

2005-12-13T01:12:00.000+08:00

and like the withering flower, its finally dead and over. its time has come.

just want you to know

2005-12-12T03:00:00.000+08:00

Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

water runs dry

2005-12-09T02:36:00.000+08:00

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
'Cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed

2-Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change

1-Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it, baby

Now..Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies
Deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
'Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart

Why do we hurt each other?
Why do we push love away?
(repeat 1, 2, 1)

shrink

2005-12-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

seen the psychiatrist today, felt so much better after i pour my heart out and the medications does help me to relax a great lot, just hoping everything will get resolve really soon. any longer im gona crumble into pieces. cure my heart but it cause a big hole in the pocket. yes it cost abt 223 bucks for a less then an hr session with the doc. anymore session and i will end up beggin at the roadside.

its has been 6th months now, but this 2 weeks has been like a storm. i just hope the dark clouds gona clear really soon. if everythin turn out well, this experience jus make me want to cherish it even more and if the worse happen, im nt sure what will happen to me. i cant imagine that, probably feels something like the end of my world.

the bedside is cold without u
my hands empty without yours
and my hearts hollow missing you
come back soon, come back soon

the dream

2005-12-08T10:52:00.000+08:00

i saw u in my sleep last nite again
guess it must be driving me nuts for this to happen
this the second time i saw u in my dreams
it felt so real, i almost thought u were really here by my side
the complicated human brain and the cruel of reality
it feels dreadful to wake up with this empty feeling
yes i have been feeling empty this past week
u can never imagine how hollow i feels inside
a empty shell, like the coke can drained of its content
then left abandon in the tiny green bin

longing

2005-12-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

i long for the soothing voice that puts me to sleep
the touch that held me tight, making me feel wanted
the warmth of the body u produce, keeps me cozy all night
the very feeling of love u gave me
the happiness we shared
the laughter among us
where did it go
every inch of me yearns for u
will you be back soon

presence

2005-12-08T01:29:00.000+08:00

that familiar face that i see everyday
now i only see u at the back of my head
the longing & desire to dial the keypad & press that send
i resist & fight, the inner struggle that follow
what is the right thing to do?
what am i suppose to do?
in the end, i let go the lifeless device of communication
u won this round

there i lay on the ground, wondering
i have forgotten how it feel to be hold by u
given another chance i wouldnt let go
the entanglement of two lovers limb
the embrace
the attachment
we feel like one entity
now im jus the egg without the yolk
plain and boring, less nurition

looking into the cloudless dark beyond
i ask the universe a million questions
everything that pop up in my head
the million questions that begs the one answer
have i lost you to the galaxy
felt as though a black hole has come thru and rip u from me
what once was one has become half

in the end, only time will tell
only u would know
whn i can come back to life
just like the weed that raise every spring after winter
im missing your presence

all sewn up

2005-12-07T11:52:00.000+08:00

have u been blind, deaf & dumb?
all the while i was screaming for u, u were no where
just like im no one to u
have u had a hint of imagination of the pain u r causing me
cant u see what u r doing to me?
all the little hope that u gave me
it all burst in my face and like a silly fool holding on to it
i fell, fell from the sky everytime
does something have to happen then u will take note?
now can u see what u r doing to me?
now that u know what i been goin thru this week
tell me yours?

back at one

2005-12-06T16:04:00.000+08:00

Its undeniable...that we should be together...
Its unbelievable how I used to say that i'd fall never
The basis is need to know, if you don't know just how I feel,
Then let me show you now that I'm for real...
If all things in time, time will reveal...
Yeah...

One...your like a dream come true...
Two... jus wanna be with you...
Three... girl its plain to see...that your the only one for me...
Four...repeat steps one through three...
Five... make you fall in love with me...
If ever I believe my work is done....then I start Back at One.(yeah)

So Incrediable...the way things work themselves out...
And all emotional, once you know that its all about babe...
And undesirable...for us to be apart...
Never would of made it very far...
Cause you know that you got the keys to my heart
Cause...

One...your like a dream come true
Two... jus wanna be with you
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me
Four...repeat steps one through three
Five... make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done....then I start Back at One......

Say farewell to the dark night...I see the coming of the sun...
I feel like a little child..whose life has jus begun...
You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine...
You threw out the life line...just in the Nick of Tiimmmeeee.....

One...your like a dream come true
Two... jus wanna be with you
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me..girl and...
Four...repeat steps one through three
Five... make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done....then I start Back at One.

indecent proposal

2005-12-05T08:15:00.000+08:00

"i now realise that the things couple did together would always stay in their heart, they will never forget but what keeps two person together is not by what they can keep or what they cant forget but is with what they can forgive." from the movie "indecent proposal"

the past week

2005-12-05T00:11:00.000+08:00

this past week has been the worse time of my life. everything is in a shamble. im in a emotional turmoil, i cant seem to set on mind on anything. every sec pass like a single hr. every tick of the clock, takes a piece of me away. i cant do anything right, cant even think straight. i jus wish the bad times will be over soon. im feeling very weak, how long can i take this? only god knows.. really wanna end this pain.

2 more days til ur 20th birthday.
4 more days til our 6 anniversary.

life sucks.

bad day

2005-12-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

Had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again.
Spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace.
Smeared the lipstick on her face.
Slammed the door and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."

And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on

And had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note it said, "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."

I live my life for you

2005-12-03T02:18:00.000+08:00

Y'know you're everything to me and I could never see
The two of us apart
And you know I give myself to you and no matter what you do
I promise you my heart

I've built my world around you and I want you to know
I need you like I've never needed anyone before

Chorus:
I live my life for you
I want to be by your side in everything that you do
And if there's only one thing you can believe is true
I live my life for you

I dedicate my life to you, you know that I would die for you
But our love would last forever
And I will always be with you and there is nothing we can't do
As long as we're together

I just can't live without you and I want you to know
I need you like I've never needed anyone before

Chorus

I live my life for you, prinzess

dying..

2005-12-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

yes the doctor has confirmed it, im a dying man. life is so meaningless, wish it be less painful & it will end faster except for all the farewell, i dont think i ever have any regrets. well one thing for sure NS is FUCK UP & whatever happen to u during NS gets even more FUCK UP.

cant wait for this shit to calm down, i jus hate my life fucking so much at the moment. wish everything wld be so much better.

im dieing of starvation, hadnt had a dose of love since 2 days ago. hope things will brighten up............................

dear life,

you suck!!!

Thankful

2005-11-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

finally im back from a lil update. life at the moment been great, was actually back frm KL with my parents & gina last last week. we had lotsa of great foods over there, basically tried almost everything there & of course tried our best to shop to our contend.

Im also starting to get back my rythem of slaving again for the country. just had to try to get by it day to day. its hard but i gotta for the next 1 year at least. come to realise, its been 7 mths since our late fhame's departure but my heart still aches everytime i think abt it. also my heart goes out to Mazlan, his dad has just passed away this mth. i wish i cld be there but u noe my hearts with u my brada. although we havnt been meeting up lately, u & azfar are still a major part of my life.

also to all my friends, i dont have to mention ur names, we try to catch up soon n often.

lastly, im grateful for my wonderfully nutty grrl of a grrlfriend. times might be hard sometimes but we shall hang on to us. i believe in us. love my prinzess for everything she has ever given me.

soon

2005-11-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

been really busy & lazy lately. hope to be back for more updates soon.

cant believe its been 5 months. im loving it.

i will be back.

2 of us

2005-10-08T02:37:00.000+08:00

i had only wanted the 2 of us on this ride.
then unwillingly 1 more hopped on.
then the next 1 got on knowingly.
never did i intend for 4 to be onboard.
its this 2 persons caught in between us, making us distance.
i had remove the one next to me, but somehow shadow didnt shift.
clinging on desperately, i accept that half a person beside u.
i thought i could do it, i had hope i could, but its never easy.
slowly, that half a person seems to fade away slowly.
but that shadow cause a rift between us.
i shrug it off but it jus wont go.
then i realise its ur shadow, its starting to cloud what we see.
u been holding on to it, i wish u could let it go.
only when u do, then mayb this trip will be jus the 2 of us.
theres only room for the 2 of us.

glitch

2005-10-08T02:28:00.000+08:00

theres a glitch in the system. hours ago, i passed by the same path, played with the 4 lil kittens with my prinzess. that was one of the sweetests moment we shared.

just hrs later, i walk by the same lonesome path, alone. my heart bruised & tattered. there on the pavement lay the same 4 kittens. im feeling......

as of today, 4 months....

what is it?

2005-09-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

she's everything all i ever wanted or is she what i made myself to believe. i dont know.
but what is clear to me now is,

i love her, every lil bits of her. her perfections of inperfections. nothing have ever felt like this before. nothing i ever felt has come stronger than this. im lost, loving her with everything i've got.

i enjoy every seconds of the time i spent with her. theres nothing i want to do without her. but always things doesnt seem as calm as the surface. theres is always something deeper, but it doesnt help if you find out more.

what i do know is theres a distraction in her life, if i can help it i would get it out myself but theres nothing more i can do but accept it. theres just something in life that u just have to finish. it will only felt finished when u done going thru it. so the saying goes, "if u let love go & it comes back then its meant to be".

im keeping my fingers crossed whn the day comes for me. i only wish i will be able to take whatevers gona come my way. i can promised to wait but so what if the bus doesnt comes back for me. should i go or should i stay. stay with the feeling that "what if its coming in 5 mins" or go on with my life & hoping something best comes next.

for now i want to hold on to my happiness and that happiness is u, ger.

its you.

Gina.

you

2005-09-17T19:54:00.000+08:00

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
But she don't know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

Something 'bout the way your hair
falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling
towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn't end
Why didn't I know what I know now

You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

Rite Of Passage

2005-09-10T10:15:00.000+08:00

Time reali flies, its been almost a year since i have enlisted & today marks the day my man, Azfar turn to join the fun. haha trust me its a whole lot of fun, BMT is the onli time u wld enjoy ur army life. Think of it as army daze, best part is you in it.

as im typing away, i guess right now azfar's parents is touring ard the premises of BMTC sch 1. while Azfar is siting at some corner awaiting to exchange his pink I/C for a GREEN!!! one. haha its no turning back from then on. well its gona be another 2 weeks or so before we see the dude. i wish him gd luck.

Friday;Pre-Enlisting

2005-09-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, me, azfar, mazlan, ganesh, ganesh gf & frens went clubbing at Cheeky Monkeys coz Azfar's day is numbering. he is 2 days away from enlistment, i sure can understand how it feels so we decide to go clubbing to celebrate his special day & me & mazlan had taken friday off to keep the dude company & spend some good times together. Its all for the brother.

so we had a fantastic time yesterday at CM, for those who hafnt seen gorillaz doing pole dance, i wld recommend u head down to cheeky monkeys for this once in a life time experience. trust me its worth it.

back to today's happening, me, azfar & mazlan met up in the morning & we headed down to late Fhame's grave. yeah its been five month already, still cant pass a day without having my man in my mind. things wld had been so much better with Fhame still ard but i guess god (if theres one) had other plans for him. i resent that but theres nothing i can do.

after our visit, we headed down to Jurong Point for our lunch, thank god coz i was starving & i was feeling that good. after lunch, azfar bring us along to do his errands before we finali hit the road to beach road & did some last minute shopping. ganesh met up with us after our lil shopping trip.

so from beach road, we headed down to town again to have dinner & a few rounds of pool while we waited for ganesh's gf. it was getting late & azfar wanted to get home to pack his stuff for the big day so we parted way with ganesh & the three of us shoot straight home. it was quality time for the three of us.

_brothers in the hood

shibby~~~

3rd Month

2005-09-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

its officially 3 months since me & my ger got together. its not exactly long but the past 3 month has been the most wonderful & traumatic experience in my entire life. all in a good way, i would add.

It hasnt been all easy without any arguments, & like any other couples we have our fair share of fights & disagreements. all the while, we are still getting to know one another better & falling deeper for each other. Things might not always go your way when we dont see the issues eye to eye but a healthy balance of compromise wld help the situation.

the last week hasnt been the most smooth sailing of our r/s & i hope the break we gets now from her school trip in KL wld help us see things clearly. At least now i know what i want & i certainly hope everything wld be fine. where we appreciate each other company so much & simply enjoy ourselves.

1 thing for sure im learning to love in a manner i hadnt been able to do in a long time. its coming back now, the feeling & i really hope we gona last.

i love my baby ger. 3 more days til i see her again.

Tarot Reading

2005-09-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

Your present
While we often think we are aware of all that is happening in our lives, sometimes the card we choose regarding the Present provides deeper insight than we are able to tap into on our own. Carefully consider the Tarot's following assessment of your present, and see what the cards are trying to teach you about situations occurring in your life right now.

The Empress

The Empress represents the primary influence on the current state of your life. Right now, in your present, you may be entering into a cycle of great abundance in some area of your life. The Empress brings peace and contentment. She is the Earth Mother, providing you with care and comfort. Getting this card in this position is a sign that happiness can be yours right now. Beware of indecision and disinterest in life. Instead, take initiative, and allow the Empress to lead you into a time of great prosperity.

The Empress is the fourth card in the Major Arcana. In this card, the Empress has twelve stars on her crown, representing each of the Zodiac signs. Her heart-shaped shield symbolizes the planet Venus' resonant love and affection. She is surrounded by signs of nature, including the wheat chaffs at her feet and the forest surrounding her. This card represents abundance and great happiness. The Empress is Mother Nature, representing fertility, a thriving romantic relationship, and life contentment. She is your nurturing, mothering side, bringing you comfort and peace.There are a number of ways this card could be playing out right now.

Some possibilities include:
You may have an abundance of love in your life, or be at the height of your fertility.
Perhaps you have enough money to take care of all your basic needs and reasonable desires.
You may be experiencing great physical comfort and receiving plenty of nurturing for your mind and body.

Your past
Understanding our past decisions and situations can help us derive more from the lessons life is trying to teach us. It's never too late to acknowledge the truths of our past and bring that wisdom into our present and future.

The High Priestess

The High Priestess exerted a significant impact on your past. This means that at some point in your past, you were likely guided by your own wisdom and intuition. Because you had implicit trust in your own emotions, you may have developed a keen sixth sense, giving you the ability to see beyond the surface of people and situations. Your ability to trust your gut instincts, and the reactions it elicited from others, brought you to the point you're at today.

The High Priestess symbolizes profound wisdom. In this card she holds a holy book; the fact that the book is partially hidden represents that the truth is only partially visible. The crescent moons on her crown and at her feet symbolize the power of your intuition. The High Priestess herself represents your psychic third eye, which allows you to see more than your physical eyes can detect. This card calls for trust in intuition and spiritual inspiration, and faith in the mystery of the unseen. She is a sign that it is time to listen to your inner voice and rely less on analytical thinking. If you follow this suggestion, she can help you get in touch with your hidden talents.

This card may have affected the overall tenor of your life, or just a particular area. Following are a few possibilities for how you experienced these influences in your past:
You may have been able to see dynamics in your family that others were oblivious to, and been able to trust the truth of your emotions.
In your social life, you may have found that you chose to become friends with people based on criteria that was beyond their superficial qualities.
You may have entered into love openly, because you knew you could trust your instincts.Now that the Tarot has offered its insight into your past and your present, it's time to look forward into the world of what's yet to happen. Read on to see what the cards predict for your near future.

Your future
Knowing what may be coming up in our future allows us to prepare ourselves for the unexpected. The card that represents your future will reveal which lessons are coming up next in your life. You may learn that you're about to enter into a particularly fruitful or easy time, or the cards may predict that you're about to be confronted with the opportunity to learn some of life's more challenging lessons. We each have lessons to learn, and if we avoid them, the cards tell us that they will simply reappear until they are addressed. When life lessons come your way, allow the cards' insight to guide your way as you work through these challenges. Keep in mind that if you successfully learn your lessons, you can then move on to new ones.

The Moon

Your future, as it currently stands, is represented by the third card you chose. The Moon is the card of the imagination. At some point soon, you may find yourself embarking on a period of rich imagination and exciting psychic development. A surprising turn of events may evoke intense feelings. When the situation presents itself, remember that The Moon's influence may be leading you to blow things out of proportion. Remember that things aren't always the way they seem.

The Moon represents imagination. In this card a wild wolf and tamed dog both howl at the full moon. The pool of water below them signifies both the unconscious mind and the imagination. The two pillars in the background represent the duality between good and evil. The Moon card is a sign that unforeseen events are in motion. Emotions are intensified under The Moon's influence, as are dreams and psychic powers. If you sense that a big change is coming, and that somehow things aren't quite what they seem, The Moon is a sign that your intuition is probably right.

More than any other step of life's journey, this card represents the lessons you must learn and the experiences in store for you in your upcoming karmic destiny. This may impact you in any number of ways, including:
An emotionally rich and connected relationship.
A project or career that allows you to stretch your imagination.
A new stage in your relationship with your family, which may initially bring with it intense emotions.

Day 4

2005-09-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

Today wednesday 7th sept Day no. 4, as of now 4 more days to go before my princess comes back. The past 4 days hasnt been the easiest but phone calls & msgs from sweet pull me thru the day. At some point, the loneliness & emptyness were jus so hard to bear, it feels like a thousand pins in my heart.

ouch..

luckily, my pal azfar & mazlan was there. we hang out & catch up with each other, got the chance to distract myself. i jus need some gd companionship and the day wld be so much easier to bear. without my pals, where wld i be.

on a separate note, my bud azfar is finali enlisting this sat, so me & mazlan has taken this friday off in celebration of his path to manhood. lol.. wat else can i say, azfar u r gona be a man real soon!! welcome to the club of poverty, where man work their butt off & get paid worse than our avg blangadeshi worker. u gona don the dreaded green uniform & 'chiong' up the hill screaming your nuts off. haha i wld love to be there to see that brada.

its been abt a year plus since we gotten back together & hung out. u, me, fhame, mei, pearly, mazlan, maisarah, radhiyah, fadzalie, hamdan & kelvin. And now, its me, u and mazlan with the ocassionally mei, pearly, maisarah, radhiyah, fadzalie, hamdan & kelvin. how we wished our great pal fhame is still here with us.

allah bless his soul.

anyway we will make sure we party us arse off on thurs then we gona chill with fhame on fri. so looking forward to it. at least now my mind is occupied but i still miss my princess so much. cant wait for the witch to get back.

shibbyy~~

yearning

2005-09-04T21:37:00.000+08:00

its been 10 hrs since my baby ger left for her school performance trip in KL. The best thing, sweetie gonna be there for a week. its gonna be the longest time we be apart. im so missing her rite now, its crazy. im goin nuts knowing for the next 168 hrs i'll be without her.

i cant believe day 1 of my suffering hasnt even begin, 5 working days 1 weekend to go and i wont even be able to have her for 24 hrs before another work week is gona start. this is crazy no one shld be allow to put thru this kind of mental torture.

arghhh..................

who am i gona hug to sleep?? my dog...........

whos gona kiss me to bed?? my dog..............

poor dog of mine.

7 days to go before baby is back. in the mean time im gona go scrub my arse clean for her.

i love my ger to bits.

absence

2005-08-25T22:21:00.001+08:00

i realised i hav been absent from this cyber space for quite some time, almost been 2 mth. well all this time i jus been caught up with life. alot of things happening & i jus hadnt had the luxury of time to blog. even when i do, i jus dont feel like it.

anyway jus a few updates of what had happen ever since. its been over 100+ days since my pal fhame left, still feeling the loss, every now and then. it jus been hard dealing with the loss of a great friend. nothing abt it is easy and now only time is gona fill the gap.

good news is its been like 2 mths coming to 3 since i got attached to a wonderful & sweet gf. the feeling been great & i had never feel so better in my life. theres always tend to be up & down in the r/s and i hope we be able to take it in our stride & we might be on the way to something really wonderful. im hoping for tat & keeping my finger crossed. i jus love tat ger to bits.

went on a lil road trip with azfar, mei & sue during the weekend in 1st week of aug. we left on fhame bday coincidentally, azfar our superman driver drove us all the way from sg to cherating, from cherating to KL & from KL back to sg. all i can say its been tough on our safe maniac driver. thanks to FIAT for renting us their car, Ulysses. it a monster of a car, feel like a mini bus. the trip been a good break for me, from all the worries in my world. i only wished tat my babe was there with me. i promise to go on a trip with her soon.

lastly, i finally pass the dreaded final theory test and now im gona go get my car license. damn it here i come.

shibby..... welcome me back!!

100th

2005-07-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

Time flies, its already been 100 day since fhame has left us. since that day, life has never been the same. gone was the time me, azfar & fhame would hang out at simpang bedok & chat our worries away, discuss our future, make plans together & jus enjoy one another company.

its been hard for everybody, but i guess everyone been moving on real fine. alot of things has happen in my life since. i guess some ppl will jus never understand the connection the 3 of us had shared. fhame will forever be held in my heart.

Sundays

2005-06-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

The Gers

The boys

boys vs girls

granny celebration her 70th birthday with all her grandchildren

family

then there was Darth Vader

1st there was Anakin Skywalker

Saturdays

2005-06-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

home cooked meal

lovely

she will be loved

chef

saturday morning

Trip to Botanica Garden

2005-06-24T23:42:00.000+08:00

dyed orange

3

these days..

2005-06-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Had a sumptous dinner for Father's day yesterday. Me, my bro, mum & dad together with our special guest tong & wenyan went to Lau Pa Sau for a seafood dinner. it was the same place we went to for Mother's day celebration.

well after the dinner, i went over to gina's granddad wake. Sat ard & help to fold some incense paper. its weird that the 1st family event i attended is a wake & its sad that it had to be on father's day eve.

my deepest condolences to sweets' family.

anyway updates on the past week happening. the revived Rockamania XI is back & its over. the difficulty & speed competition was held over 2 weekends in TP Rockwall. unfortunately, as much as i like to help in the 1st weekend, i cldnt due to some commitments but i did my part on the last weekend. had loads of fun, as usual hanging ard with the climbers. also gotta to meet up with Fie & Fib, both whos damn busy with serving our nation.

Fie jus completed his GCC & now hes a guardsman while Fib jus got off the plane from Taiwan from his OCS navigation exercises.

gd lucks to both of my bradas in their military career.

also if your still ignorance abt it, yours sincerely is happily attached to a wonderfully sweet & crazily wild gf.

her name, you ask?

GINA!!! i love the ger to bits.

best of luck

2005-06-13T22:46:00.000+08:00

Best of luck to my buddy, Yan who is gona report to the Police Academy tml. well yan its time to pay back ur country with ur blood & sweat. well it beats serving NS in malaysia aint it.

trust me, u gona 'love' every sec of it. its been a crazy 3, 4 years of hangin out together not counting some of the mystery disappearance sometimes but we meet up after ur confinement aite. the F5 stuffy will be back stronger as ever & ripping it up in Krabi.

yan

also to our buddy, black who not too long ago jus report to the beautiful island of P.Tekong himself. i guess u must be njoying the island life over there. take care to u all & cya back in mainland soon!!

shibby~

goin nuts

2005-06-05T03:31:00.000+08:00

Pumpfest 2005 @ Esplanade Park

2005-06-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

finally, after some break/absence from climbing competitions, im back in the mix. haha yeah i joined the Mens Open Category in Pumpfest & boy did i join the wrong category.

lookin ard in isolation, all the climbers surrounding me have at least achieved some kind of finish in other competitions or are nationals climbers. while chee is jus the ordinary-i-wanna-hav-fun dude in the fold.

but all was good, i had a lot of fun crackin my brains & sweating my ass out at the routes. truly njoy myself, i will try to do better next time, so for now, back to training!!

also i was kind of distracted during the competition, my mind was wandering & wandering whether someone wld come & chk out the competition but sad to say it didnt happen but i dont think tat affect reali my performance much.

anyway some pictures we had taken.

TP Sports Climbing Team

chee hooking it up

goin at the roof

starting for route 3

im dead beat

shibby~~

bites & bruises updated

2005-06-03T13:17:00.000+08:00

today celebrated my unit 1st anniversary. it was fun, the whole thing was rather well-organized & its good to c everyone helping out. for once, it does feels like a big family but nonetheless a defunct one.

lol

well, nothing is perfect, say a person. now put 80 imperfect person together, i guess its a perfect formula for a defunct family.

anyway i got up real early today for some golf tourney organised by my unit. i was appoint to be one of the photographer which i had no say in. there is no volunteering in the army, theres only involunteering.

so while the rest of my buddy was still soundly aslp in their bed, im oreadi up in Sembawang Country Club, taking pictures. luckily the weather was kind, that was my only solace, not becoming a charred piece of meat.

well after the whole being photographer job, got back to office & help out in wateva i cld in preparation for our anniversary celebration. overall it was a good day.

after the celebration, i met up with azfar before we pick up gina from town. now there comes the part on bites & bruises but its for my knowledge.

cheers.

some picture taken with azfar & gina below.

neon lights in the car

rocker!!

smile.

hehe

typical sunday NOT! updated

2005-05-30T11:09:00.000+08:00

yeah so a typical sunday for me wld be playin soccer match in the morning with my team, rowdees. then back home to rest b4 meeting up with azfar & co. Hang ard till evening & then head back home to hit the sack or mayb another late night soccer session with the boys again.

but yesterday, i was activated back to office to work from 11pm - 8am. i was recalled back to do some shit job. will elaborate more once i upload the pictures.

heres the pictures

my so called 'dinner' with luncheon meat :)

stapling these shit

stack these shit

the most thrilling thing tat happened yesterday was the F1 Event organised by Red Bull @ The Pines. thanks to azfar again for the million time, always inviting me to enjoy the media perks with him. yes, as usual theres free food & free flow of drinks (alcohol & Red Bull) lol u shld have expected tat.

I LOVE RED BULL!!

anyway, the F1 race was very very exciting. The winner was never decided until the last lap, yes if you had caught the action. u wld have been left pondering what was on Kimi's mind when his right front wheel was dismembered from his car with jus ONE lap to go. my god, the agony he will go thru when he sees the video replay again. it was easy for alonso but credit to him & the Renault team for the 4th podium finishes.

this season F1 race have been quite balanced. all the teams have been goin all out to get a podium finish. Renault, BMW & McLaren been givin Ferrari a run for their money. i cant wait for the next race.

ohh not forgetting, theres was some celebrity in the audience last night. namely Tay Ping Hui, Elieen Wee & who cld have forget Abigail.

yes thats her!!!

i cant believe it when she walk past me, stop, turn ard & smile at my direction. i almost make a mess of myself, barely controlling the regurgitation of whateva tat had jus went down my gullet a few mins ago.

anyway after the race, me & azfar headed down to orchard for a awhile, a lame while. what i mean is, it was lame while we were there. hee but we did bump into azfar's friend, a extremely cute fren, which to a point i nearly fell into the bushes when i saw her.

HELLO GINA!!

Shibby..